I have a theory about why talking about money is mostly taboo in our society. I feel like it’s kind of like sex, or religion. It’s a very personal issue. How much money we make, and what we spend it on, is highly variable from person to person and sometimes even our self-worth and identity is tied up in it.
Asking the question “What do you do?” helps us to suss out the status of an individual we are just meeting. It would be extremely impolite to ask upon introductions “How much money do you make?” but essentially that is the signal we are searching for.
We also attempt to signal our value by the outward facing purchases we make – the cars we drive, our neighborhood, and our clothes and fashion choices. Most people assume that if you drive a luxury car or carry a Gucci bag, that you are worth a lot of money.
But most of our money choices are hidden. How much we donate to charitable institutions, or how much we save in our retirement funds. These choices make a much larger impact to our bottom line but are completely obscured from the view of bystanders.
There is also a lot of shame tied up in money. People are embarrassed about how much credit card debt they have, or how much they spend feeding bad habits each month. Opening up your income and spending to other people is very vulnerable. And most likely, you do not have the same values and priorities as anyone else. Some people choose professions that are not highly compensated but which they are passionate about. Some people go to McDonald’s everyday. Some people are subscribed to massive multiplayer online role-playing games (like World of Warcraft). Are any of these choices wrong? Of course not. These are just personal priorities.
Personal finance is extremely personal. No one can decide what your spending priorities are but you yourself. I can examine your spending and tell you that you need to cut back, and I can even suggest areas where you can trim. But the decisions are yours to make. If you most highly value travel and I suggest cutting your vacationing expenses, that won’t make sense to you, and you probably wouldn’t stick to that budget anyway. But maybe you are spending a lot more on restaurants than you’d like. If pricey meals aren’t what you value, cut back on restaurant spending and you might not even feel it. This is a cut that will work for you and that you can stick to.
An example: we have a happy, healthy dog. He’s our best buddy. Keeping him happy and healthy is a very high priority for us. However, he’s also extremely fluffy. Keeping him expertly groomed according to his breed was not high on our list, yet out of habit we were spending $80 every six weeks or so to do just that. Now, we couldn’t just let him poof out and eventually get dreadlocks. But one month, instead we shelled out $70 for pet clippers and did it ourselves in the backyard. I’ll be totally honest here. This was a learning experience. The dog looked kind of ridiculous that first time. But each month, we got better and better. We learned to bribe him into holding still with lots of peanut butter. We learned which size to use for his body and which for his ears and little mustache.
This saved a substantial amount of money over the years. And only required the $70 investment in clippers and a bit more time every month or two. (honestly not a lot more time than making appointments, dropping him off and picking him back up from the groomer though)
Now some of you are like “yeah but I don’t have a dog, so that doesn’t apply to me” and I’m here to say THAT’S ENTIRE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE. Personal finance is personal. Maybe you do have a dog or three and they are beautiful purebred show dogs and you would never dream of cutting back on their spa time. Perfectly fine, you do you. Not here to judge. But check your spending – because there is probably something in your budget (or lack thereof) that doesn’t belong there.
What could you give up? What will the budget police have to pry out of your cold dead hands?